Unit 3 Assessment

Learning Outcome 1

Present evidence of a body of work that demonstrates a systematic enhancement of your knowledge and understanding. (AC Realisation)

Although I feel that, in some ways, I am still at the start of a life-long journey, I also recognise that my art-making has been completely transformed over the course of the two years, in terms of the art itself, the way I make it, and the way I think about it.

When I joined the MA, I was very focused on the technicalities of image production. I thought of my work in terms of isolated ‘projects’ and those projects had a clear, quite linear flow. I was, if I’m honest, a little disapproving that everyone didn’t have a neat flowchart for how they made art! The work itself was almost exclusively landscapes, and was very focused on an application I had developed that allowed me to manage composition manually, while adding detail to elements algorithmically. My wife's death had disrupted this practice somewhat, but it felt quite ‘established’.

Over the course of the MA, I have come to think more-and-more organically about the artistic process, and to see each piece of art as being part of a bigger practice, and that practice as being an extension of my everyday life. My research paper clearly played (pun tots intended) an important role, as did direct experimentation, especially around the time I created “Awkward Thoughts”. It’s also interesting to notice how angry I was when my own success deviated from what I considered the ‘correct’ process! Ironically the image in question is still one of the best things I have done, and I am proud to feature it in my 5-minute video. This more organic approach has particular born fruit around what I loosely term ‘Rivers of Silver’, the work that relates to my face casting. The largely speculative decision to make a mould of my face directly enabled ‘Undeliverable Letters’ (my submission to the RA Summer Show), ‘Beneath the Frost’ (the ‘frosted face’ I included in my UAL portfolio submission), ‘Mask for the Bereaved’ (which I exhibited locally), and the melting ‘ice faces’ that I included in my 5-minute video. I have many other ideas for it, including continuing my project to photograph it outside!

Looking at my early posts, I see myself expressing a strong need for external validation, and for feedback on my art. Although I pushed myself to take risks when I created “Wish You Were Hear” for the interim show, and I was very happy with the result, I still clearly felt a deep unease around how it might be received by UAL. Although it wasn’t, in some ways, a major work, again I feel like “Awkward Thoughts” was the start of a turning point where I began to focus more on what I wanted to say, and less on whether it might be judged to be ‘correct’. ‘Mask for the Bereaved’ took this one step further, where I created something that I feared might be considered ugly, but I stood by my belief in it. I not only exhibited it, but observed some very muted reactions to it, and was excited to discover that I didn’t ‘care’. I think I need to explore this further, but I think that while I care about the viewer in the abstract, in some senses, I only care about myself as the viewer. The final show is a priority right now, but I am looking forward to getting back to my plaster cubes, despite knowing they are weird, ugly, and perhaps unfathomable!

Related to the discussion above, my relationship with meaning has changed over time. I would like to tell a neat story, but I feel that it is still in flux, and is one of the areas I am most keen to develop. Some of my pieces are ironic but still quite literal, some lean heavily on symbolism, some tend to magical realism, some are quite intuitive and profess no meaning. I don’t feel this represents a lack of awareness, really the opposite, it represents an on-going struggle to establish what feels ‘right’ for me. The struggle between the rational ‘Tomgos’ and the emotional ‘Tathos’ has been a huge part of my journey, and one that feels more nuanced, but less resolved, than ever.

Coming into the MA without a BA, I acknowledge a real vacuum around technique. Most of my art prior to the MA was digital, and mostly focused on algorithmic art. An early recommendation by JK to read ‘Art in the Age of Mechanical Reproduction’ triggered an unexpected interest in making physical objects. Somehow ‘unleashed’, I have sampled many different media over the course of two years, both physical (plaster and epoxy, wax, print, book art, paper mache, glass, sketching (kinda)) and digital (rendering, 3d scanning, AI). I am increasingly interested in the idea of making art that blends the digital and the physical, for instance scanning a physical fabric mask to virtually set it on fire for my 5-minute video, laser cutting a design based on a real hole, or my final-show piece where I plan to project digital ripples onto the physical surface. I’m excited to also play with the 3d printers I was given by a friend!

The area that I am most actively developing, is one I almost fear to name: aesthetics… Although I showed an awareness of the term as early as May 2024, I considered it almost synonymous with beauty. The book “On the Aesthetic Education of Man” has begun to give me a broader, more nuanced, sense of what it can mean, although it is still something I struggle with. I feel I have developed steadily from mere awareness of aesthetics, to the aesthetic being something I want to control, albeit I struggle with how to do so. I no longer equate beauty with aesthetics, and believe that there is no absolute standard for beauty or taste. I feel I still have much to learn in this area.

Learning Outcome 2

Synthesise and critically reflect coherently on your process whilst providing evidence of an active, independent and/or collaborative practice. (AC Process)

Although I would have strongly rejected the suggestion two years ago, I think I have been trying to make sense of what happened to me when my wife died. My job, and my status as a co-parent and a husband, were core parts of my identity. Losing them destroyed a lot of what I thought I knew about the world, but also enabled me to see things that had always been there, but I’d been too busy to notice. The world is impossibly rich, and most of the things we worry about don’t really matter!

The urge to share this new way of seeing is what underpins my process. Consequently, my process is very introspective, perhaps claustrophobically so. It centres on thinking, noticing, and reflecting on things that are mostly happening in my head. Each thing I make is an attempt to offer a ‘statement about the world’ that feels true to me, and a way of seeing that goes with it. I do not claim to do this with any skill, but the recognition that I fall short is what excites me, it is the reckless thrill of recognising a task as impossible, and trying to do it anyway. The belief that I might improve slowly over time, is what keeps me throwing my heart against the wall.

My process is about balance. When we attempt to balance something physically, we decide how we want to place it, we attempt to place it, we feel if the balance is off, we adjust the placement, we feel again. Just like physically balancing something, conceptual balance is not achievable in a single attempt. Finding balance is about thinking, trying, reflecting, adjusting, and trying again. My process is therefore very dependent on prototyping and experimentation. I see experimentation is about exploring how things behave in general (what-if questions), prototyping is about exploring how they behave in context (solving for a specific outcome). Annoyingly, I haven't tagged my posts with ‘prototyping’ or ‘experiments’ as I’ve gone along, so I’ve just tagged some examples from unit 3!

One element that I am trying to balance in this way is the dichotomy between authentic personal experience, and relatable universal human experience. I explore these through the archetypes of ‘Tomgos’ (rational intellectual Tom) and ‘Tathos’ (emotional spontaneous Tom). Tomgos makes art that is cold, conceptual, but seeks greater ‘truths’ in the service of others. Tathos makes art that is hot, emotional, immediate, but also self-indulgent, cryptic, and self-serving. My process is to take advantage of their natural dispositions by allowing Tathos to lead and inspire the work, but allowing Tomgos to reflect, critic, and guide the work. The ideal is to create work that is raw and honest, but is also a clouded mirror in which others can see themselves dimly reflected.

Another element I am seeking to balance is what I consider to be three competing qualities of the work, that I term ‘semantics’, ‘technique’, and ‘aesthetics’ (note these labels evolved over time and they are referred to as various things at various times, but the characterisation is the same). By ‘semantics’ I refer to the meaning and motivation behind the work, essentially what the work is trying to express for me. By ‘technique’, I mean the physical and practical limitations on the making process. By ‘aesthetics’, I mean how the work engages other people, essentially what I want them to see, feel, and notice. For me, semantics is the most important, but the work must be feasible and engaging too. As I iterate, prototype, and evolve the work, I seek to make trade-offs between these different qualities to give the best overall balance between them.

The urge to share a perspective and way of seeing the world is what underpins my process, but it is not what drives my practice. My practice is driven by simpler, more quotidian, more self-ish, things: the meditative peace of deep reflection, the joy of making, the comfort of having my art around me, the thrill of sharing a piece in an exhibition, unexpected adventures excused by art, and interesting conversations with thoughtful people. I have so many things I want to try, so many things I want to explore. When I reflected on why I make art, I concluded that art was simply part of a life well-lived, and I believe that conclusion will fuel my practice for however many years I have left.

Learning Outcome 3

Summarise and evaluate your overall progress and formulate a constructive plan for continuing Personal and Professional Development. (AC Communication)

To quote Jonathan, I think I have been on ‘quite a journey’. I think he meant that in a ‘voyage of the dawn treader’/’The Hobbit’ sort of way, and hopefully not in a ‘stuck on the M25 for 6 junctions after a lorry spills its load of 4 tonnes of cherry tomatoes at rush hour on a Friday’ sort of way. I guess time and Waze will tell.

Overall, I have learnt a huge amount about myself, about art, and about what I want to do with it. I still have large holes in my knowledge of art history and the contemporary art scene, but I feel given my unusual background, I am closing them steadily. I have a much wider sense of what ‘art’ is now, and a much more organic sense of how to achieve it.  I am still ‘young’ as an artist (although sadly not as a human) and I think my practice will continue to evolve rapidly for some time. However, I feel I have found a mature sense of what I am trying to achieve, and a maturing set of tools to help me on the journey.

I have formulated a plan for my immediate next steps. I am also surrounded by a growing ecosystem of people who can help me on that journey - "If you want to go fast, go alone; if you want to go far, go together". I don’t know where I will go longer term, but it will be fun to find out. Remember, life is a journey, not a destination, so wind the windows down and avoid the M25.