Holey Face - a happy accident, or an accidental abomination?

 I created this:

What's interesting is that I didn't really intend to create it - it sort of happened by following a process of intuition and experimentation. Is it art? I don't know, but I find I can't stop engaging with it - it is both horrific and sad and beautiful at the same time. The 'face' is plaster, the red is velvet. I didn't intend it to shock, but rather to express something deeply painful.

It started by an experiment of covering string in plaster and lying it into the mould. This came out more interesting than I expected - I expected a sort of lattice work, but in my concern to make it strong, I probably added more string and more plaster than I intended. As a result, a lot of the plaster ran between the strings, creating much more of a solid cast than I expected. I needn't have worried about strength - it's rock hard! I liked it, but felt it needed something to distinguish the surface from the 'internals', so I decided to paint the exposed string gold. Tomgos felt gold was a bit cheesy, but Tathos was adamant. Unfortunately, I think Tomgos called it right... I have a broad rule of thumb not to paint natural materials. 

I felt it needed something behind to give it more structure. I considered wax and even plastic (I'm exploring recycling plastic, one of my more stupid experiments), before hitting on fabric. I attached the fabric by stitching it through the lattice, which worked really well, and was fun, plus good practice if I want to explore using fabric in my art in future (textiles is one area I haven't really explored before). However, when it was done, it had quite a 'Venice carnival mask' and/or 'Queen Amidala' aesthetic which I really didn't like....

So, fatefully, I decided to paint it with a thin black wash. I intended to just do the gold, but got enthusiastic and started doing the plaster, with the aim of highlighting some of the finer detail. Unfortunately I forgot how thirsty plaster is, and it immediately started drinking the wash, leaving a dark black mark. Moreover, when I painted the gold originally, I got a bit on the white surface, so I painted over that with white paint... Which was invisible until I applied the wash, which sank into the exposed plaster, but barely touched the areas painted white... Causing the blotchy grey surface you see here.

At that point I decided to just go with it... And so you get what you see above. I hung it on the wall to contemplate what to do with it... And it sort of 'popped' - hanging it at an angle (again by accident) gave it a sad, melancholic expression.

So now what? I don't know! I feel like it's something slightly horrific that I made by accident. But I also really like it. It speaks on a deep and uncomfortable level to something we would rather forget. The plaster is cold and hard and bloated, the velvet is soft and creased and comforting. The fact that it works for me feels like an accident, but an accident I made happen?

I am tempted to enter it into an open call called "Outer Layer" - almost because I feel like other people should see the fucked up thing that I made... If it's accepted, I guess maybe they see a bit of what I see. If it's rejected, that's ok - it's my precious broken thing which can hang on the wall and make visitors to my house uncomfortable ;)