"Hiatus" is a lovely word, but for some reason I always say "hiasys" instead, which makes it even harder to spell since it's not a word. Nobody has ever corrected me on it, but then I guess they wouldn't, it would be inappropriate...
"Awkward Thoughts" has proved to be a very tricky piece, perhaps ironically, perhaps predictably. I set out on it knowing it was a bit kitsch, but thinking it was a good experiment, and rationalising that 'popularist' is often used as a denigration for 'accessible'. As detailed in previous posts, I quickly got into trouble - the format (people walking down a tunnel) didn't fit with the staging (someone seeing a butterfly). I set Tomgos and Tathos to work on arguing a good way forward, and practising having Tathos lead with spontaneity and emotional choices, while Tomgos watched, nudged, and tried to keep the think on track to the guiding concept. Trying to stay true to the ideal of being 'concept led', my (evolving) aim was to share something about the taboo that death can lead to changes in thoughts and habits that can actually be a positive experience - death is bad, but good things can come from it.
I have been troubled by the idea that I am not creating, but rather 'thrashing around'. I believed that to be a 'good' artist, you have a vision, and you work steadily towards that vision. Bad artists 'thrash around' trying stuff, until something good comes out, then they claim it. This led me to be very cautious about process art, and to lean very heavily on meaning. However, that pedestal has been slowly crumbling, especially with the realisation that I was probably putting the 'cart before the horse' - essentially coming up with a verbal description of what I wanted to do, and the 'illustrating it'. However, I think I have reached a break-through:
Bad artists thrash around till they chance on something good, then claim it. Good artist thrash around till they discover something good, guided by a goal of expressing something
Or maybe put more succinctly by analogy:
Bad artists wander (process) because they are lost, and occasionally happen on something good. Good artists wander because they know where they want to go (concept), but don't know how to get there.
Yes, I know, declaring anything a 'breakthrough' almost guarantees it will look hilariously naive in a month... Well, good!
Anyhoo, we last left the reader with Tathos deciding to move the whole thing outside onto a bridge. Having tried that, I felt I was making progress, but I couldn't make it work. A few things came out in the process that seemed to fit the concept - my face (a late addition), the butterfly (representing fragile life and new beginnings), and a flower (representing death, but also moral remains feeding new life). Trying to fit these things into the format was a pickle:
Yes! It's so bad! So then Tomgos and Tathos somehow worked together to do a very smart thing - they deleted everything in the picture that didn't work... And focused on simplicity. Left with just the faces (the flower conceptually works, but practically didn't), a new direction became apparent. The faces are like memorial mask or carvings... Could they be both stone, and alive? Could they be not on people, but beheaded (or perhaps, de-bodied)? Suddenly an exciting new direction opened up:
It needs a lot of work, but it feels very promising - simple, understated, clean... The flower needs to appear, but not a budlija, but something simple, probably a dandelion (why? Not sure, but it feels right). Of course I'll almost certainly stall and change it all again, but it feels like a really good direction.
However, before I do that, I asked Roz if I could do something with her 3d scan - it inspires me and I like the idea of working with Roz - her art is close to mine in some ways, and she's very experienced (and a lovely person!). Around the same time I saw an open call advertised in the UAL newsletter, called "This Homeland" and organised by the NHS, so I might try and do a joint entry for that...
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