Going well, but is it art?

TATHOS (voice on crackly phone line): Hello?

TOMGOS (sleepy): Wha... He.. Hello?! Why are you calling me in the middle of the night?

TATHOS: Sorry, I was woken up by an amazing wet dream, and then I couldn't get back to sleep, I was thinking...

TOMGOS: Dear god... But why are you phoning?

TATHOS: I was thinking... Is it art?

TOMGOS: If you mean your dream, I'm hanging up now... Why ARE you phoning? I am you, you are me, why do you need to use a phone?!

TATHOS: I don't know, it felt like I... Maybe it's easier [voice becomes normal] if I don't

TOMGOS: That's easier... So I'm awake now.. Is WHAT art?

TATHOS: Our piece for the CSM interim show... I love the way people are interacting with it, but is it art?

TOMGOS: Everything is art... Nothing is art... Why are you worried about it now?

TATHOS: Not worried... Just trying to reflect and learn!

TOMGOS: I guess... So why wouldn't it be art?

TATHOS: Shit... I guess it could just be a social experiment? Or a novel poll? Or a stunt?

TOMGOS: Ok, so why could it be art?

TATHOS: Shit... Ok... I guess it fits with our idea of art as being the event/feeling/act itself - the postcards are the frame, the art is in people's interactions...

TOMGOS: The completed postcards are the art?

TATHOS: No, more the act of completing them... Or maybe, the act of public sharing...

TOMGOS: Participative performance art?

TATHOS: Hmmm, that doesn't sound right.... Art is about making people think not perform...

TOMGOS: I guess they think as they fill them in?

TATHOS: Maybe, but not something they haven't thought before...

TOMGOS: ... or they wouldn't be able to write it down?

TATHOS: Exactly...

TOMGOS: They read them too...

TATHOS: Yes! They read them, then they contribute... Or they contribute and then they read them... I guess they pin their card next to other peoples... They maybe choose where...

TOMGOS: People have shared some really personal things

TATHOS: Fuck, maybe that's the art?! The group experience of sharing?

TOMGOS: Lucy said "it made me emotional, laugh, surprised and feel a sense of belonging with people I have never met or seen"... Is that what you mean?

TATHOS: Wow! Man! She said that? She's hit something good there... Yeah, that's what I mean... The art is that feeling, the postcards and the board are just the place to make the art happen, and the record of it happening

TOMGOS: Self-documenting?

TATHOS: That sounds sort of wanky, but maybe... I don't think that's the important thing... The postcards are more like the ashes of the fire of the art... We need to honour them and the fire they once were...

TOMGOS: You weren't smoking before bed were you?

TATHOS: Not that shit again, you are obsessed! You do that when you are afraid of sounding like an artist!

TOMGOS: Huh... Ok, sorry... We do need to do something with those cards. We should see how many we gave away and how many we got back...

TATHOS: I hate to say it, but that could be interesting - art can be numbers I guess...

TOMGOS: Wow, just like that?

TATHOS: I'm not obstructive! But we do need to do more... Maybe we need to keep that feeling alive of sharing...

TOMGOS: A book?

TATHOS: Maybe... 

TOMGOS: So it IS art? Lucy also said "There was no forcing. Weirdly it being public you left feeling a bit stronger after sharing, like exposure therapy. And at the same time still private, the piece protects your identity while giving you that nudge of not being alone."

TATHOS: Nice... Yes... Clearly she's the artist here? There's a lot of thinking here about not being alone, about it being a shared but private experience... People said that to me at the show too..

TOMGOS: Thanks for doing that for me, I'm sorry I couldn't be there

TATHOS: You know I'll keep us both safe... And you keep us safe too, when it comes to money and not eating weird shit you find on the floor...

TOMGOS: Yeesh... Sure... So it is art... Can we go to bed now?

TATHOS: It is art, but it's intangible... We need to do something to make a fitting record of it... To make a nice urn for the ashes of the art...

TOMGOS: Noted, but can we do that in the morning?

TATHOS: Yes... So is it a stunt? Or a poll?

TOMGOS: Also morning questions...

TATHOS: No! Now questions... A stunt is a shallow act intended to be sensationalist, it's not that... A poll is about gathering data... Not that either... A survey, no, there's no goal... Well, the goal is the sharing... A social experiment is about the outcome, this was about the act... I think that's the art - not the postcards, not the board, not the writing, not the pinning... the moment of being there is the art... the moment of adding your thoughts and feelings and private fears to all the other thoughts and feelings and private fears... THAT is the art! Who do you think?

TOMGOS: ....

TATHOS: Tomgos? Are you asleep?

TOMGOS: ....

TATHOS: For fucks sake... Right... What was I dreaming again...

PostSecret

 Someone just casually said my piece reminds them of PostSecret... Clearly I need to do more research in future - adding that to the list of lessons learnt (I'm trying to do more reflection on works once I complete them). I think my piece is different enough that I'm not dying inside, but clearly a lot less original than I had hoped :-/

David Shrigley and Humour and layers of meaning

 I love this picture by David Shrigley:

I love a lot of his stuff actually - it's the sort of thing I aspire to do - not the style, but the subversive humour, and the layers of meaning - like Pope.L, you don't know where to laugh or wince, and you end up doing both, which is even better. I like the outermost funny meaning - god is watching you in your most unflattering moments, but I see deeper layers of meeting - can god really be watching you all the time? What else do you do that you'd rather god didn't see? Why would god want to watch you? etc

On drawing lines and crossing them...

TOMGOS: I'm worried, I want to talk to you about our recent blog posts... I think people might be offended, I worry we crossed a line...

TATHOS: Pffft, this project is all about crossing lines... Ok, the language was a bit fruity, but seriously people can't be uptight about that... Relax old friend, you need to chill

TOMGOS: It's more than the language... It's the attitude...

TATHOS: What attitude?! What's the problem? Just say for fuck's sake

TOMGOS: There you go again! Can't you say anything without swearing? I'm worried about the umm, references to... ummm... certain sexual practices...

TATHOS: Ah! The arse fucking? It's ok, loads of people do it... I hear...

TOMGOS: Over a 39% of 22-24 year old hetrosexual men, apparently, but that's not the point... You were making jokes about it between two men, that doesn't seem ok...

TATHOS: Wow, numbers!

TOMGOS: Numbers are more useful that 'loads of people'...

TATHOS: 'Loads of people' makes more sense to me... Well, they just happened to be men... And it wasn't a joke about the sex, it was about the art and how it looks like something's happening that wasn't supposed to be... Shit... Do you think I upset people?

TOMGOS: I don't know, I hope not. Why are they all men anyhow? Do you hate women?

TATHOS: What?! No! Seriously! I don't know, putting women in there seems... wrong... they aren't people, they are proxies for people... dolls... I guess... huh... I guess they are all us, on some level

TOMGOS: Huh... All us... I guess so actually... Some more than others?

TATHOS: I think... I guess some are very much us, like the guy staring, but some are sort of us, like the guy ars... crashing... and some are sort of shades of us... shades of humanity really

TOMGOS: Why didn't you say that before?

TATHOS: I only realised it when you made me think of it

TOMGOS: You're weird

TATHOS (mockingly): 39% of hetrosexual men... look at me... I'm Tomgos... I'm a talking calculator with bad hair...

TOMGOS (annoyed but laughing): You have literally the same hair as me!

TATHOS (laughing): But it somehow looks better on me...

TOMGOS: So are we going to be more careful in future?

TATHOS: I'm not sure... Yes... and no... We need to keep pushing boundaries...

TOMGOS: But not crossing lines....

TATHOS: But the lines are in different places for different people...

TOMGOS: Huh... Interesting... So we have to keep testing?

TATHOS: I think, and remember this project is about how art is for saying stuff you can't say with words

TOMGOS: You can't swear in pictures...

TATHOS: But you can offend, I guess... Maybe we need to make art that leads people to the places we can't say, but doesn't go there?

TOMGOS: Starts difficult sentences people can't help but finish?

TATHOS: I like that, yeah... Like the postcards sort of do...

TOMGOS: They create a frame, and people hopefully can't help but fill it...

TATHOS: Hopefully...

TOMGOS: So are you going to swear less?

TATHOS: Fuck off....

No no no ugh :( Peak ugly?

 Started making the changes I described and I'm embarrassed to share what it looks like:

TATHOS: Wow, shit, that's awful

TOMGOS: Not what we imagined...

TATHOS: What went wrong? It seemed a good idea...

TOMGOS: Maybe it...

TATHOS: It's too obvious, man! It's like blatant.. It's just put out there... It's fucking awful, a kid could do better

TOMGOS: Yes, it's kitsch

TATHOS: Ugh... Fuck...

TOMGOS: It's a process, Tathos, we said we would try something

TATHOS: Ugh yeah, but ugh... Shit, I can't look at it

TOMGOS: Get a grip! All our stuff goes through 'peak ugly', doesn't it?

TATHOS: Yeah... I guess... What do we do? Maybe just delete it. Yeah, it's start over.

TOMGOS: We said we would follow a process, and we will! We won't learn if we quit

TATHOS: Ugh, I guess... Ok, so what's the process?

TOMGOS: We discussed it several times now - do you not remember? Have you been smoking weed again? We will try to let you lead with ideas, and I will consider them and add meaning, steer things... I'll try to make everything just a symbol, so you need to help make it more random

TATHOS: You know we don't smoke since the whelk thing in Amsterdam... Ok, so you want me to go with what I think?

TOMGOS: Yes, you don't have any issues about being random normally! And don't mention the whelk thing

TATHOS: Well maybe don't mention weed. And I am not random... My ideas make sense, I'm just not sure why I say them...

TOMGOS: Ok, ok, and I can help with that... Calm down old friend, this is ok

TATHOS: We need to loose the body

TOMGOS (laughing): Hide the body man!

TATHOS (laughing): Yeah, bury that fucker... It's too obvious, it's ikk. So I guess when I imagined this, I imagined it on a bridge... Like the bridge at Charing Cross actually...

TOMGOS: Why?

TATHOS: I don't fucking know!

TOMGOS: Ok, sorry, a bridge... Weird... but that could work... It reminds you of work?

TATHOS: I guess so, yeah... And bridges are dangerous...

TOMGOS: Not very, but ok, I guess... And they represent transition...

TATHOS: Oh... yeah... I guess so... Wow...

TOMGOS: The guy behind could be dropping his phone over the side!

TATHOS: The arse fucker?

TOMGOS: Ugh, you know we regret that post... People will think we were drunk... And it probably offended a bunch of people

TATHOS: I don't give a shit... Besides, do you seriously think anyone reads this?

TOMGOS: Good point... Ok, I think this could work - see, the process... trust the process... The dropped phone will make it easier to see it's a collision... I think we try that then chat more

TATHOS: Good stuff... I'm off for a spliff

TOMGOS: What the actual fuck?

TATHOS: Chill dude, can't you tell when I'm fucking with you

TOMGOS: Humph... Ok, let's do this!

Overhauling "Awkward Thoughts" piece

Content warning: contains grown-up words that everyone actually knows but they have to pretend they don't so they look like good professional and respectable members of society 

Remember this:

Nope... Me neither... Well barely... I was working on it before I stopped to do a bunch of other things... But I decided to dig it out. I sort of HATE it, and I'm weirdly drawn to it at the same time. It's a terrible image, and yet it harbours something very interesting and difficult in it's depths...

I did solve one problem in an interesting way - the faceless people were not quite expressive enough to show that the one crashing into the one who's stopped, has indeed crashed into him, and isn't taking advantage of his distraction to fuck him up the arse... I used my face from the iPhone scan, and attached it, as a way give them expressions, but also add some further creepiness. Also if people still think he looks like he's arse fucking, well at least my face is all over it...

However, I spent a bunch of time messing about with the other problem - the idea was the tunnel is cracked, and a butterfly has got in, and the butterfly and the man are both illuminated by 'god rays' through the crack. Having played about I, was really unhappy because firstly the god rays looked shite, and secondly, it looked way too much like religion. That's not good news for me, or for religion. So... I'm going to have to overhaul it big time.

I'm trying to heed all the amazing advise and not lead with my head, but rather lead with concepts but let instinct and logic play - instinct says "given them all bird's heads" and logic says "cool, sure that could symbolise...". I like the idea of both curating and creating - expanding and interpreting... Tathos can play, Tomgos gets to chip in, steer, expand, and see some love.

So... I think I want to move it outside, I think I want to use the fact it's 3d to let me mess about with the best camera angle. I think the butterfly should be attracted to budlia. I think the budlia and the butterfly are there because of something terrible - a body - initially I thought a crashed vehicle had exposed them, but that' feels weird and distracting, then Tathos said "put a literal corpse in, have the budlia grow out of it" and Tomgos said "yeah, because you are the guy looking at the butterfly, and it's there because Carolyn had to die for you to see it" and then it all went a bit quiet, and Tathos muttered something about knocking off and getting a drink.

Next mask: "Acceptance" or "Guilt"

 I think I'm going to call "Regret" done, for now:

I'm pleased with it, but it needs the rest of the set... I've already almost created the 'blank' for the next one (I didn't even cut my face that badly!). I was going to do 'Acceptance' next as it's fairly easy as the plan is for most of the face to be covered by some form of 'accretion', but reflecting on a walk (yay walking), I think it would be cool to make 'Acceptance' look like it incorporates elements of all the other masks - almost like an 'after' mask. So it would make sense to do it last... So the next 'easiest' mask is probably 'Guilt'. My plan is to have the face covered by the hands, with the fingers digging into the skin... 

BUT this creates an interesting question: do I want them to be wearable? My head says 'nah', my heart say 'yes'... And I'm 1) heeding JK's words on the power of constraints and 2) trying to listen to my heart more... 

So then that gives me an interesting challenge to explore - if it's going to be worn I need:

1. At least one working eye(!) - plan is to have a 'finger' poking into one eye
2. For the 'hands' to make sense dangling from someone's face...

My current thinking is to make them 'hand-line' instead - maybe like hand-shaped spider crabs... Or maybe metal gauntlets... Dunno... Definitely some sort of fingers, and definitely some sort of spikes. Need to further process and ferment... Why spider crabs? Not sure, but I guess decay. Why gauntlets? Dunno, but I guess agression, plus the 'armour' vibe of the first mask... Other ideas include some sort of spiky plant

Also thinking of embedding fake barbed wire in the 'skin' to mirror Regret's crown, also it's gross and I'm drawn to gross... I don't know why I need to shock - I don't THINK it's a childish urge, or a play for attention, I think it's a way to express the anger and pain I feel.