Project Art Through A Persona, and time for a new way of thinking?

 I was digging around in the topic of art as play, (not in a sandpit-y way, more in a this-ditch-needs-to-be-finished-by-this-evening sort of a way) and I came across an article about art presented as a puppet show. The article itself appeared to be the script, but presumably it was intended to watched. I love the idea!

The idea of using a 'persona' to mediate the article was really interesting to me. It reminded me of the way that Tathos and Tomgos help to mediate some of these blog posts. They can say things that I couldn't say directly, but I think the way they look at things forces a different mode of analysis - their personalities and proclivities highlight and draw out aspects of the material that mine wouldn't.

I feel like I need to apply this to art somehow, and I feel like doing so might bring some sort of breakthrough... I guess doing so would be play within play, but might also enable me to make things that wouldn't be comfortable/possible/natural for me to make myself - I could make as someone who isn't (very) atheist, I could make as someone who had never seen death, I could make as someone who lived alone, I could make as an otter, or a tree... I could make as a million things I have never been - other selves. I could do that implicitly - present the end result, or I could (perhaps more comfortably and interestingly) do so explicitly - I could craft whole stories or worlds around objects relating to things that never happened, but are themselves allegories for things that did, or might.

In general I feel poised on the edge of some sort of breakthrough, or at least, major step forward, but I can't rationalise it. I care only about rationalising it in the hope of shaking it free. I think a massive walk would help, but I can't make the time. I also feel the research paper is really NOT helping at all. Far from feeding my reflection, it seems to be clogging it up. Perhaps I'm too 'young' for it? A lot of the tools we are being given are to force more mature students out of ruts they are in... But right now I can't even imagine how to get stuck in a rut. 

I think my 'breakthrough' might relate to:

• Moving beyond the anger in my art - the wild urge to 'punish' the viewer by making them confront the bitter reality of life seems to be fading... Weirdly "Pain and Acceptance" (see later post) has helped a lot
• Move away from art that concerns myself directly - I had a realisation early on in my Study Statement that I can make art about my experience, and I can make art that's bigger than that, and I feel the need to start making that transition. This came up in my crit with the DCS and reminded me that perhaps the time is now.
• Coming out of the above, make art that is more delicate, more intricate, more beautiful - a lot of the work I have made to date has an angry aesthetic, but it's not my natural aesthetic - I don't find it 'beautiful' as such
• A lot of my per-MA work focused on nature, and I want to bring that back

I think a lot of this relates to the End of Year Show - I think it shocked me because it forced me to think about my work through someone else's eyes - I realised what seems special and magical to me, might look mundane and half-arsed through someone else's eyes. It forced me to try harder... Even harder... Which might be why I was pissed off!