Open Casket Ideas v02

REMOVED

ADDED/AMENDED

 Base

• A box? Or flat? Really want people to have to peer in so maybe a box? But weight will be an issue again
• Shaped or rectangular?
• Solid or mesh?
• Covered in something in the shape of my body? Spines of some sort?
• Shallowly moulded to impression my body (somehow? Weight!) - I'd really like to do this - but how? Some form of foam? Needs to be light, stable, cheap, and ideally environmentally friendly. Considered corn starch foam, but would have to experiment to see if it's suitable

Life Casts

• Face, hands, and feet
• Face deformed in some way? Skull? Partial? Too much!
• Make sure to cast wedding ring, and guild it afterwards

Fabric Casts -> Body fragments

• Fabric casts - Swags over key areas (e.g. chest, thighs, ankles, neck etc) or more fitted 'garmets' like a shroud? 
• Definitely want to keep them white and unstitched (e.g. no actual clothes)
• Some form of 'rib cage' - more interest, and a clearer message that this is a 'body'. Could also bring natural elements in if made from sticks

Grave Goods

• An acorn in one hand
• A book of Time Management under the other
• Flowers on head?

Lessons learnt making a silicone mould from my face cast

 I finally managed to scrounge some hours over Christmas to make a silicon mould from my life-cast. Having tested out the approach on a hand (with bad results due to the naughty unstretchy blue silicone), I was waiting to decide how to make a mould box. In the end I just went to the local hardware store and bought the best match to the size I could find - which was an embarrassingly simple solution!

I did toy with making a fibreglass shell instead (a fibreglass 'mother mould') but chickened out because fibreglass is horrible stuff, and it felt like unknown territory. I'm sort of glad I did, but it did mean I had to use a tonne of plaster and probably a lot more silicone (BUT it meant I was confident that everything was always 'contained' in the mould box).

I followed the same approach as last time - mostly quite standard practice, expect the blue silicone which I will explain below. 

1. I filled the bottom of the box with a think layer of blue silicone to give me a nice level surface as the box was shaped at the bottom
2. I then vaccalined the silicone layer, put the cast in, and poured a second thin layer around it. This serves two purposes - it makes a nice seal around the edge, and it serves to 'lock-in' the position of the life-cast by creating a perfectly fitted 'depression' - i.e. I can remove it, and return it, confident that it is in exactly the same position as before by fitting it into the depression - which is important later (the downside would be that I'd loose a couple of millimetres off the bottom of the model, but actually, as fate would have it, I didn't, as we'll see later!)
3. I then put a layer of clingfilm over the life-cast, covered that with a thin layer of modelling clay, and then covered that in a layer of clingfilm
4. I modelled a 'bulge' on the top of the nose (the highest point as a I have a huge snozz) and the top of the chin (because I worried it might form an air pocket there) 
   
   
   
5. There was a LOT of space at the end of the tray around the chin, so I improvised and stood two yogurt pots to fill the space (filled with water so they wouldn't float up, obvs!)
6. I then filled the whole box with a fortunes-worth of plaster. As a bit of a miser, it broke my heart, but it was worth it! It took a LOT of plaster, and I had to mix it in batches, which was risky. Of course, the more full the box got, the less each load of plaster raised the level, as the face took up less and less volume
7. After a very long time, I felt confident to carefully remove the whole ensemble from the box and carefully remove the life-cast and modelling clay. I was VERY relieved to see that the clingfilm had held, as obviously a disaster scenario would be the plaster getting into the life-cast and bonding to it 
   
   
   
8. I now had a plaster 'mother mould' which fitted perfectly over the life-cast save for a thin gap. I left this to dry for about a week. I then patched up some rough areas caused by the clingfilm - I used a mixture of cotton wool and PVA, which worked, but took ages to dry - next time I think I should just use polyfiller!
9. The last step was to return the life-cast to the correct position in the mould, using the blue silicone layer cast around it as a guide to get it in exactly the right spot. I think put the mother mould over the top - slightly nerve-wracking as I had to drop it into place. Thankfully the plaster had expanded, so I needed have worried as it didn't fit all the way down anyhow. I then poured a huge amount of green (stretchy) silicone into the gap between the cast and the mother mould (the white spot in the middle is the tip of my nose showing through the silicone!)
   
   
   
10. Finally I removed the whole thing. I was relieved to retrieve the life-cast intact and not too badly covered in silicone (there seemed to be a small amount of cure inhibition due to the vaccaline perhaps). SUCCESS - a green silicone detail mould sitting perfectly in a plaster mother mould (if you are weirded out by the image, remember the face is concave!)
    
    
    

The whole process sounds fiddly (and it was) but it was also very time-consuming as each stage had to set/cure/dry before I could do the next...

I'm very happy with the way the mould came out. Unfortunately the green silicone bonded to the blue silicone layer cast around the life-cast - this was unfortunate as it makes it hard to reuse the mother mould in future (as I'll have to somehow recover the blue silicone to know where to place the life-cast to line-up with the mother mould), but great in that if forms a lovely stiff 'collar' around the mould that helps to support it and keep it in position.

To test it out, I cast some cheese-wax

Not too shabby at all! I'm very excited to start 'playing' with my new 'toy' ;)

Lessons Learnt

• The blue silicone base was a lovely surface to work from (smooth, frictive, level)
• Casting a thin layer of blue silicone around the life-cast was great for locating it in the box later, plus makes a nice 'collar' to the softer green silicone mould
• Patching the plaster mother mould with cotton wool/PVA was dumb, I should have just stepped up and found the polyfiller
• Letting the plaster dry thoroughly was smart
• Standing the two yogurt pots was a good hack, but a more systematic approach to filling unwanted free volume might save a lot of plaster next time
• The vaccaline seemed to kill a lot of the fine detail, and maybe caused some cure inhibition - if I'm going to do a major project again, I should just buy some real mould release agent
• Plaster EXPANDS as it sets - because crystals form. This is supposed to be 'slight' but was enough to mean that the plaster mother mould no longer fitted completely into the mould box
• I was better about trusting that the clay layer would leave a gap for the silicone this time, but actually the fact that the plaster expanded meant there was a bigger gap anyhow, as the box was slightly pyramidal, so the mother mould would no longer slide all the way to the bottom
• Having two vents was great - probably more would be even better as they 'cost' nothing except a small amount more silicone - pouring into one and seeing it appear in the other was very reassuring!
• I did a good job of dislodging air bubbles, but I should probably remember that as a result EVERYTHING gets covered in a layer of silicone - it made it's way up all the outsides of the mother mould, between the mother mould and the yogurt pots etc etc
• Marking up the mixing pot with a half-way mark and a full mark meant I could pour the silicone part A and part B directly into the mixing pot - risky, but MUCH faster than measuring in to more pots and then pouring into the mixing pot.

Ideas for "Open Casket" - documenting the evolution - v01

 I thought it would be 'fun' to document how my ideas and thinking for "Open Casket" evolve over time. My premise is that some interesting insight might come out of externalising the process that is normally internal (I have made very tweaks to the ideas already in my head without writing them down - broadly my belief is that if I forget an idea, it can't have been very interesting in the first place - of course, testing this is impossible by definition!).

Broadly the idea is to show my 'body' together with some 'grave goods' - or props! Currently these props will be arrange 'on' the 'body' rather than beside it.

Practically, the work needs to be modular, and each module needs to be light-enough and robust-enough to be transported by train to CSM - this is a significant constraint, but I keep saying constraints are good for creativity so I'll keep telling myself that...

Broadly, the piece currently consists of a number of distinct types of element:

• Some form of 'base' that implies the over-all figure and locates the other elements in context
• Life-casts to show some 'important' body parts - probably face, hands, feet
• Fabric 'casts' (currently) of some areas to give a stronger sense of 3d to the figure without explicitly showing it all - they also stand for the 'empty' body, plus the fragmented body. The current plan is to lay fabric soaked in plaster over areas of my body. These might be 'swags' of fabric, or might be a more tailored shroud
• Grave goods to tell a broader story - currently an acorn in one hand, and a book of Time Management resting under the other. Potentially some sort of crown of flowers on the face

I'm not sure how I will document this, but the elements above are fairly stable and fairly loosely coupled (as we would say in software design) so I think I'll document evolving ideas for each in a table set of headings (Google Blogger doesn't allow tables!)

The over all idea is to create an impression of sadness, mixed with humour and tranquillity - people should feel at rest with the 'body' not disturbed

Base

• A box? Or flat?
• Shaped or rectangular?
• Solid or mesh?
• Covered in something in the shape of my body? Spines of some sort?
• Shallowly moulded to impression my body (somehow? Weight!)

Life Casts

• Face, hands, and feet
• Face deformed in some way? Skull? Partial? Too much!

Fabric Casts

• Swags over key areas (e.g. chest, thighs, ankles, neck etc) or more fitted 'garmets' like a shroud? 
• Definitely want to keep them white and unstitched (e.g. no actual clothes)

Grave Goods

• An acorn in one hand
• A book of Time Management under the other
• Flowers on head?

Tools in art, reflecting on a Seth Godin blogpost on tools

Seth Godin is an author and former dot.com exec. He has a daily blog offering snippets of wisdom of a broad range of topics, many of which are pithy and/or insightful. He recently shared the following thoughts on 'mediocare tools':

Lousy tools are dangerous. They endanger our safety (physical or emotional) and undermine our work. Lousy tools are pretty easy to avoid, because they reveal themselves whenever we use them.

Great tools are magical. They multiply our effort, amplify the quality of our work and delight us, all at once.

It’s mediocre tools that we have to watch out for. They quietly and persistently corrupt our intent and force us to work harder on the parts that don’t matter as much.

I was reflecting that the same is true for art - great tools make art-making joyful! However, it's interesting to me how little we talk about tools in art. Technique, yes, materials, sure, but tools, not so much. Perhaps in the traditional arts, tools are so mature and ubiquitous, people simply don't talk about them? Perhaps people simply don't make their own tools? That seems like a massive missed opportunity to explore.

Someone I follow on Instagram makes miniature sets of armour, and talks a lot about the joy of making awesome tools that make the job easier, and new things possible, but perhaps that's the exception that proves the rule? I guess painters do get excited about using new 'tools' to make new types of mark, but I guess when the 'tool' is a scrunched-up plastic bag, it becomes a matter of technique?

In digital art, tools do get discussed, but again, the answer is often Adobe Whatever. People's reliance on Adobe annoys me in some irrational way... It's like people who can't possibly word-process in anything other than Word.

Perhaps I am unusual? As a former techy, who can code (to no particular quality nowadays!), making my own tools is a joy. In general, in the coding world, people adore tools (often to a fault). However, even in my physical art, I love the possibilities unlocked by tools and materials. Creating a new tool or getting your head around a new material just opens up so many new things you can imagine how to make!

"Ways of Looking: How to Experience Contemporary Art" by Ossian Ward

 Finally finished reading the excellent "Ways of Looking" by Ossian Ward, recommended by the equally excellent Roz.

Ward writes in straight-forward language, and centres around his 'Tabula Rasa' approach to looking at contemporary art. Essentially he suggests you try to park your preconceptions and: 

• Time - take some time to really look
• Association - consider what associations, if any, are prompted between the work and your own life
• Background - if possible, consider the background and context to the work
• Understand - attempt to come to an understanding of the work as a result
• Look again - then look again and reconsider what you might have missed
• Assessment - finally reflect on your assessment of the work

I think it's as good of a formula as any, and I'd be happy to have it applied to my own work. I think with regards to the above:

• Time - one can only hope that people give time to your work - my suspicion is that is the weak pole in the tent - people seem to rush around galleries (especially big shows where there is a lot of work) and give everything the most cursory of glances... But maybe they are looking for something that catches their eye. I try to make sure my work has some element of intrigue to pull people in to look closer.
• Association - a lot of the work I find less successful offers no 'route in', and I think association can be an important tool for this - if you can give people something they recognise, on some level, you build the start of a reporte with them. When I talk about 'universality', this is part of what I am alluding to, I think. I feel more and more that art is a dialogue between the artwork (as a proxy for the artist) and the viewer, and that conversation needs to start with an interesting opening gambit.
• Background - obviously all art comes with context, but my hope would be to minimise the importance of it to understand the work - art that comes with a wall of text to explain it has failed a bit in my humble opinion

A nice feature of the book is that it comes with 'spotlights' on different pieces of contemporary art. I enjoyed seeing the range of art covered and a few pieces stood out:

• Tiger Licking Girl's Butt by Nathalie Djurberg - I think this stood out because I didn't expect to like it, but actually the mixture of lightheartedness with empathy and compassion really chimed with something in my art - I want to make art that is playful, but also compassionate and emphatic
• Take Care of Yourself by Sophie Calle - Interestingly, again, the element of play combined with deeply felt and painful emotions
• We Could Have Been Anything That We Wanted To Be by Ruth Ewan - this touched me differently - the deceptively simple idea, the reflective title, the subtle delivery - I immediately found my mind racing away into a deep reflection on time, and the way we slice it up and use it to rules our lives
• Mike Nelson, generally, I have looked at his work before, prompted by Roz, but I saw different things in it due to my interest in the idea of the 'null point' and 'the secret life of spaces'. I need to think more about how his work relates to spaces, and using spaces as proxies for people and events
• Archeological Site ( with a Sorry title) by Guillaume Bijl - I love buried stuff, so that grabbed my attention! Plus the use of pseudo-science as presentation. I'm reading his writings and I'm increasingly interested in how he relates to spaces

Two things stand out from the above - the idea of spaces and learning more about that, and the fact they are almost all installation art. I really don't want to make installation art for a whole bunch of reasons, but I can see how sculpture can be a gateway drug! The more I day dream about my piece for the final show (working title "Open Casket"), the more I think I would do it as an installation if I had the space... As it is, I wonder if I can manipulate the space to make it installation-like - e.g. by forcing viewers to look down into the piece.

The book finishes with: 

There are also innumerable answers to all the questions about contemporary art and why our enjoyment and interpretation of any art, young or old, can come round full circle to enrich, inform, and complicate our lives.

Which seems to sum things up well!

Tomgos, Tathos, Aesthetics, Meaning, and Angst

INT (NIGHT): Dimly lit pub, somewhere in London. Rain beats on the window, and a few drinkers speak in low voices, inaudible over the sound of the rain lasting the windows, while the barman polishes glasses. 

 A figure in a long coat hunches over a table covered in empty glasses in a particularly dark corner. A tall man, slides into the chair opposite him, causing him to look up. Revealing that they have the same face, but the hunched figure has better hair.

TOMGOS: Finally, I've found you! It's horrible out there, I'm soaked! I think that chap by the door tried to sell me weed or something! What the hell are you doing here? You look rough!

TATHOS: Mmmm-ugh?

TOMGOS: Are you ok? Is that your first? How many have you had?

TATHOS: Mmmmm... mm

TOMGOS: Are you shrugging? Or retching?

TATHOS: Mmmm... mmm

TOMGOS: Are you saying you don't know? Or retching again?

TATHOS: Mmm

TOMGOS: I really don't feel sorry for you! You've clearly done this to yourself! How can you even get this drunk when I'm sober? It's metaphysically impossible?!

TATHOS: Mmmm....

TOMGOS: Look, if you are going to be sick, at least warn me first.... I've been looking for you, I want to talk to you about these 'sun-day' pictures....

TATHOS: Eeearrrm

TOMGOS:  Well, you might want to waste your life getting shit-faced, but I happen to care about the art we make! Is that so wrong? These Sun-day pictures... Why haven't you been talking to me about them? I thought we agreed that I was the one who did the instagram posts?

TATHOS: Urgg?

TOMGOS: I think you are trying to talk to me, but I'm just going to sit sideways like this, just in case I need to stand-up quickly... I do like them, but well, first "happy sun-day", it's a bit trite isn't it? And secondly, what do they mean? What are they about?

TATHOS: ...

TOMGOS: Don't stare like that, close your mouth! Did you buy something from that bloke by the door? Look, I didn't come here to upset you, I just want to be involved, you know. We are a team, right? I thought we made art that meant something? The print was fun, and I'm glad we did it, but we aren't here to have fun... Are we?

TATHOS: ...

TOMGOS: They are fun, you are right... And some of them are very beautiful... I'm sorry, you are right, look, you can post them. They can be your thing? Ok?

TATHOS: Parssswub...

TOMGOS: Look, I know I haven't been around a lot. I'm sorry. I hate seeing you like this. Let's go home, old friend. I'll help you stand.

TATHOS: No passsswooooobb

TOMGOS: What are you pointing to? 'No... password'?! To what? To instagram? You don't have the password? I don't understand, but... but if you aren't posting them, who is?!

TATHOS: Bleeerwweeeebbbb

TOMGOS: Oh god, that's gross, it's gone everywhere! Ugh... Shit... Yes, I'm sorry sir... He's family, I'll get him home... Has he paid for this lot?

Over-working, Restraint, and Self-Curation - a quick thought (with a long title)

 I spend a lot of time thinking about my art, it makes me happy, and it numbs the sometimes tedious nature of my 'real' life. The risk, of course, is overworking at the conceptual stage - generating to many ideas that the message is lost.

But...

The risk of over-working is in using the ideas, not generating them. Having lots of ideas is good. Knowing which to keep is vital. Surely the point of 'process' is to generate ideas, but also to discard the average ones for the good ones, and to use as few of the best ideas as possible to get the message across? Tathos needs the freedom to create and make ideas, Tomgos reflects and curates and restrains.

The inklings of a Final Show idea

I want to 'bury' myself at the final show. Although nobody will know it but us, dear readers, I will turn the final show into my own metaphorical state funeral.

In other words, I want to have something that represents my metaphorical remains... I initially thought this idea came unbidden, but I had it after listening to an RA podcast featuring Anthony Gormley in conversation, so I guess it was probably inspired by his body casts. However, I don't think that means it's necessarily going to be derivative... The symbolism is irresistible, and the touch of irony is inevitable, but it also pulls together a lot of what I have been working on over the course of the MA.

The initial conceit as it first came to me was a Tom-sized slab of white material, with cavities at various points, filled with life-castings, over-laid with gorse, and all embedded in epoxy to create a flush surface. However, aesthetic or semantic objections aside, this presents a very real challenge, mostly of transport and storage, let alone fabrication... Plus I'm trying to give up the epoxy fetish....

So what to do... I have the start of a few ideas... I think I want the finished object to look like either a tomb, or a forensic table, or both... I think I want 'fragments' of my body to be present, but arranged in the correct positions, like how an incomplete skeleton is laid out with the bones in the correct relative positions, even if some of them are missing. I'd like to finally use my face-cast (I'm so embarrassed I haven't made a mould yet - mostly because I can't find a mould box to fit), perhaps entire, or perhaps modified.

I think I need to experiment with a few things:

• Soaking fabric in plaster to create castings around shapes
• Casting a thin 'slice' of larger body parts using shallow trays of alginate
• Creating a 'grave-like' cavity by crudely casting around my body with something - initial contender - corn-startch foam

On giving up epoxy...

I suddenly had an idea for what I want to do for the final show (sorry, still gonna call it that)... More on that after the ad break... but ironically at almost the same moment, I realised I need to give up epoxy. Needless to say, the initial incarnation of my final show idea used a load of the stuff.

There's not grand reason why... I haven't developed massive lesions on my skin, the cat didn't drown in my latest project, I did not have a dream where David Attenburough and a troupe of baboons beat me with a tyre iron. Instead I just started to ask myself if something so toxic to the environment is compatible with my art practice. My use of natural materials in unnatural plastic was ironic, but it was also, perhaps, a bit tasteless.

Of course, rationally it makes no sense... Uncured epoxy is unpleasant, but so is paint stripper, and drain cleaner. Cured epoxy is extremely inert, and harmless, but completely non-biodegradable. But you can go onto insta or YouTube and see hundreds of videos of people pouring whole floors of the stuff, or giant ugly tables, each of which probably uses more epoxy than I will in my entire life... The end of the world will be us beating each other to death with animal bones, surrounded by a landscape of pristine blue swirly table tops incorporating shells, fake ferns, and cheap plastic dolphins.

I hate tokenism, but I am also (though I pretend otherwise) concerned about nihilism. Sometimes token gestures are worth making, for the gesture alone... So I'm going to use up the last of my stock, judiciously, and not buy any more...

But darn I miss it already! It's so versatile, and while I can find other things to replace coloured epoxy, I don't think I can replace clear epoxy - there is simply nothing like it that's readily available. The ability to trap or freeze things was becoming a core part of my practice - it was like 3d photography. I guess the challenge of how to do that without epoxy will push me to be a better artist.

PS Cured epoxy is harmless (to humans) but epoxy dust is not... If you are going to sand your epoxy creations, for the love of everything pure, wear a mask...

A Personal Art Manifesto v0.9.01 - concept, intent, and the role of the viewer

Preamble

 I had a very good conversation with the Dead Critics this morning around when things are 'finished'. A perhaps seemly innocuous topic turned out to be quite tricky, in a friendly and constructive way. It surfaced some quite interesting fundamental differences between the three of us (Roz, Catherine, and I (Bethany had to leave early)) about why and how we make art. In particular, the importance (or otherwise) of the viewer and of intent/concept.

I need to stop worrying when I have different views to other people about art. I think I am dogged by a fear of being 'wrong', but I don't know that there's any such thing in art - we all have to make the art we make, in the way we make it, and decide if we are happy with it - ultimately nobody else's opinion matters.

To me, art is play, and play is fundamentally a social activity. I think we play to learn about how we cooperate with each other, and I think we make art to learn how we each see the world. For me, then, deciding if something is 'finished' involves considering it from other people's perspective. Just as I read this blog back to check it makes sense before I post it, even though I doubt anyone will read it, so I need to consider if what I've made also 'makes sense' - does it say what I intend to say. I don't need people to like what I make, but I do need them to feel something even if it's contempt.

Does this mean I am tuning my art for the viewer? Am I creating what I assume they want? I don't think so. I think the important nuance is that, in this context, the 'viewer' is a perspective, not a person. I am not imaging what other people want as viewers, I am taking the position of viewer myself and reflecting on my work. I am asking myself if it looks finished, I'm asking myself if I would be proud to show it to other people. I am asking myself if it's the best work I can produce in that moment.

Roz asked me why it was important that people see my work. I said I wanted them to see 'me', and she suggested that a lot of my work is 'staged'. I wasn't sure how I felt about the word, but I think it's a good one. I'd also offer 'performed'... by which I mean it's an authentic emotion hidden in a contrived wrapping. I think that this is ok, because I think it is essentially a question of aesthetics, not motivation. The aim is not to deceive, the aim is to present something that entertains, but feels ever-so-slightly 'off'. I think this is in-line (ironically) with 'respect' in my manifesto - it creates multiple levels, it rewards deeper reflection. That said, it risks being 'smart-arse'... I think the key thing is that the motivation is genuine, and the aim is not to deceive - the aim is to show the repressed way we see the world, with the aim of drawing attention to that repression and the deeper uncomfortable truths below it. I must be the first artist to want to make work that is stilted and repressed, but I think that's the 'sad clown'. I can't help myself - it just bleeds out of me - e.g. I called this section 'preamble' because it sounds like 'ramble'... I just can't help making slightly bitter jokes that almost nobody is going to get.

With all this in mind, and with no irony intended (but of course, irony in calling out the lack of irony), I thought it would be good to try to capture some of this in the manifesto - the thinking being that over time, said document might eventually come to summarise everything else (yes, now I'm being ironic).

PS I am really not a bad person - I may think the world is a huge joke presented for my entertainment - but I genuinely do try to leave it better than I found it

Personal Art Manifesto v0.9.01 (changes in red)

Why I make art:

• To enrich my inner world
• To present that inner world to the outer world to do with as it will
• My art is therefore an attempt at communication with others, without assuming that those others exist in practice - I make my art in the passive hope it is viewed
• My art brings me joy in 3 stages - I feel deep joy in creating art (albeit also sometimes deep frustration), I feel joy in seeing the things I've made (however imperfect), and I feel joy in finding opportunities to show them to people.

My art should be:

• Honest 
• A true and genuine attempt to communicate something I believe in
• My best possible effort, created with care and effort
• Respectful 
• Respect the viewer's gift of attention, whoever they may be
• Be accessible on many levels
• Don't be a smart-arse
• Don't be obscure, strive for universal truths
• Allow the viewer space for their interpretation, don't bully a point
• Be minimal in both physical and emotional resources
• Dignified
• Too small is better than too large
• Too quiet is better than too loud
• Pieces should speak for themselves without needing long explanations (or ideally titles)
• Don't pander to people's expectations
• Pieces should defend their message and boundaries (independent of context insofar as this is possible)
• Beguiling
• Attract attention and reward it with intricacy and depth
• Draw the viewer deeper with playfulness and/or hidden depth
• Make even difficult things easy to contemplate
• Balanced
• Balance meaning, aesthetics, and technique/skill
• But meaning is more important than  aesthetics and aesthetics is more important than skill
• Balance gravitas and playfulness
• Key pieces should contribute to my wider practice and should be curated accordingly

How I make art:

This list is naturally indexical, not exhaustive

• I lead with concept not process - my starting point is an idea, but the process informs how (and if) that idea is finally realised
• I present genuine and authentic things in an ironic or playful way - the aim being not to deceive, but to draw attention to the real by projecting the fake
• I balance passion with detachment to try to create work that is authentic but also universal

Questions to ask myself about my art:

• Do I mostly know what this means? Is the meaning unclear to me? Is the meaning too prescriptive? Is there one meaning, or many? What else could this mean?
• Is the meaning something I genuinely feel deeply?
• Is this obscure? Could anyone get something from this?
• Would this piece work without a title or placement card?
• Is anything missing? Could anything be taken away?
• Is this my best possible effort, respecting my own limitations
• Does this piece shallow? Is it ugly? Is it technically poor? If so, does it's beauty compensate for its shallowness? Does it's meaning compensate for its poor quality? etc
• Does this grab your attention? Does it reward it when is has it? What's the first impression? What's the second? The third...
• How does this fit into my wider practice?

But not necessarily

I also wish to record the following 'anti-manifesto'.... I do not consider it important for a piece of my art to be:

1. Commercially successful or even saleable
2. Important to society as a whole
3. Created in pursuit of some 'worthy' cause such as saving the planet (we got ourselves into this mess, lots of us will die before we are motivated enough to get ourselves out of it)
4. Technical demonstrations of skill in some medium - I am the artist who walks by himself - all mediums are alike to me ;)

Chat with Karl about pensive images, and is the 'null point' an analogy for dying?

 I was very impressed by Karl's 3 minute, and I felt that he described, and skilfully demonstrated, the 'null point' quality I discussed previously. I messaged him and shared the post. Graciously he agreed I was alluding to the same quality, and we had a great discussion. He also found Jo Love's presentation, and the Pensive Image very relevant to his work. We had an interesting conversation that I have summarised below, with his permission.

Responding to my "needle balanced on its point" analogy, Karl responded that he is finding it hard to figure out how to balance that ‘needle’ with the paint and not disturb it with the image (like the air in that quote) it "gets a bit windy when I take it too far with the image"

He felt "Awkward Thoughts" (then unfinished) might have the same quality and suggested "just letting it slowly come to a stop. Like a coin rolling on the ground spinning until it’s flat. Embrace the chaos!". I explained that I feel the quality comes from balance somehow, and that the process of getting there should be reductive, not additive - not adding elements till the picture feels finished but rather removing elements until nothing else can be removed with out toppling it.

I shared "Waiting Place", and said I felt it came closest to the quality I am striving for. Karl kindly agreed and commented that it's the feeling that something is happening just outside the room. I counted that for me it's the feeling that something could just have happened, or just be about to happen, or that nothing has or will happen for a thousand years - it's something about having the potential for life but not having any at that moment nor any clue that it will have any life: the paper could be about to slip of the bench, or it could be there for an eon... If the door opens, the scene will collapse, but it might never open. Karl talked about the tension in the image, and I agreed it was tension but also suspension - the potential for 'life' (as movement/change) but with no clear trigger.

Karl shared "Sharon Tate's House" by Dexter Dalwood:

He suggested I should look at more of Dalwood's work. I really like the image above, and definitely feel it has the quality of the 'null point'. I think it's the light, especially the tension between the light/movement/life on the right and the dark/immobile/dead left. Karl added "...signs of life, stillness but something looming - has happened or is about to happen...".

Having completed "Awkward Thoughts", I'm not sure how I feel about it. I want to love it, but I feel edgy about it. Maybe that's a good thing. It's definitely a step further outside my comfort zone. For me the solidity of the heads coupled with the frozen movement of the butterfly have something of the quality I am seeking, but I feel trapped as to how to 'know'.

"Awkward Thoughts" 'finished'

 The 3 minuet video rekindled my interest in "Awkward Thoughts", so I pushed through the last few things needed to consider if finished:

What do I mean by 'finished'? I mean that after a reasonable amount of time, I still can't see anything I want to add or take-away, so I'm confident to share this with people. By confident, I mean I don't think that I will share it and then immediately want to tweak it.

This MIGHT constitute a definition for 'finished'... Stable enough to share without instantly seeing further things to add ;) To paraphrase something Karl mentioned in a chat I need to write up, maybe my work doesn't reach finished like a finish line, maybe it reaches finished by slowly setting to a point where the urge to change things is in balance with the urge to leave them as they are!

Like screaming into a handkerchief

 I've been thinking about the feedback that my art is playful but has dark undertones. I've been attempting to tone down some of the anger, in the fear, I guess, that it could easily overwhelm everything else and I'll just create work that is so angry, so morose, that it won't really allow anyone to engage with it - it won't be 'words', just a scream - it will be like a trapped animal, snarling at anyone who attempts to come near it. 

Some people will (perhaps flippantly) say this is not a bad thing and should try it, but they are very wrong in my opinion. I'd say firstly that they probably don't understand how bad that could get, and secondly that I believe art is about communication, not cathartic shock-jock self-indulgence. It's ok to to shock people, but you have to do so for some semi-altruistic purpose in doing so (however misguided it might be!).

This is why Tomgos and Tathos feels so important - Tathos won't give a shit, he'll pour it all out, he loves to shock. Tathos just loves a reaction, positive, negative, the more extreme the better. Tomgos's role therefore is to channel that into something more universal, by helping Tathos to focus, to give direction, to rein in. Tathos bring authenticity and passion, Tomgos brings universality and detachment.

Tomgos's art is bland and theoretical, but Tathos's art is inconsumably self-absorbed.

A lot of art I admire has this sort of restrained horror. The restraint makes the horror more bearable and palatable, but also more real. It also helps the artist to help the viewer - it becomes about helping the viewer to understand, not just screaming in their face.

BUT I do think I need balance in all things, even balance... I wonder if a way is to explore the darkness, but also look at which elements are essential, and which are actually unnecessarily, or even distressingly, shocking? For example, I was thinking about enlisting the help of someone with a good eye for photography to take some photos of me lying in various incongruous situations, like a corpse. For instance, I was thinking of lying naked in the middle of a muddy field. However, applying the principle above - lying in a muddy field makes sense (loneliness, self-neglect, pseudo-death) but why naked? Actually, lying in something like my old work clothes would be WAY more effective (death of a way of life, death of identity, more incongruous etc).

Interesting displacement map accident in blender - null point abstract

 Working on "Awkward Thoughts" last night and I was working up a slightly cracked displacement map for the heads, to give them a slightly less 'garden centre concrete' aesthetic ;) In the process I created this monstrosity:

It looks creepy because it's applied to my face, but actually that's not the interesting bit... The interesting bit is that this is exactly the sort of surface I've been imagining for the 'null point' abstract images. I think it's a bit derivative as it looks like an electron micrograph, but I want to explore it anyhow - I suspect it has something to teach me, if nothing else.

I feel like I owe it to Tomgos to go the distance and finish "Awkward Thoughts", especially as it's so close, but after that, I think I might do some experiments with displacement maps, geometry nodes, and non-photorealistic lighting in Blender - this is probably a good example where Blender is actually the natural place to do this - it has all the ingredients built-in, and whilst I'm usually too modest to say it, my Blender skills are actually quite advanced now.

Analysis of Unit 2 Group Crit Affirmative Feedback

The second section of the crit was people chipping in to give spoken statements starting "what worked for me". This was very nice, and affirming. Having listened to the recording of the comments, there was a lot less material than for the written 'emotional feedback', and covered a lot of the same ground, which was inevitable and healthy. 

Generally I would say: 

• As before, people saw the playfulness/humour overlaying deep emotions, without trivialisation, which was very gratifying as was perhaps the biggest endorsement of my approach

• There were further calls for me to embrace performance art - very kind, but not for me right now I feel (I think all art is performance art, and I’m more interested in how I could enable other to perform/participate to create artefacts that would be the artworks e.g. everyone's shared performance for “Wish You were Hear” and the art book of postcards was the resulting permanent piece (even if it was a dim shadow of the piece itself))

• Several comments on level of thought and care in the work which were really appreciated as it's a core value for me

• It was nice to see more comments on presentation, the quality (physical and metaphorical) of the resin, the tension created by the presentation of “A Month in my Head”. This is something I really worked at in Unit 2, so it was really nice to hear it paying off

• Interesting suggestion to have the masks in conversation for the final show - could be an interesting way to bring it all together, but would I want to literally have them ‘talk’? What other, less literal ways, could they talk?

Analysis of Unit 2 Group Crit Emotional Feedback (affirmative feedback to follow)

While I found the process nerve racking, it was very interesting and useful, and (of course) everyone was lovely. In general there were a lot of comments that affirmed things I already knew, which was good because it useful to see they reached other people. There were a few things I didn't agree with, which was a good chance to revisit, and a few things that hadn't occurred to me, which was really interesting.

I've tried to loosely group the feedback into themes, and to group common comments together.

Reactions to the video

• Many people liked the humour, finding it fun or playful, but many also saw darker shades behind it, and a few people had quite negative reactions ('scared', 'puzzled', 'dodged') which was very interesting (since I felt it had dark undertones but was fairly benign)
• Many people noted the performance aspect
• A few people commented that it was 'clever', which is kind, but also something I'm cautious of, perhaps too many years being passively aggressively put down using the term e.g. "Tom's very clever, but..." or "I'm sure what you have done is all very clever, but..."
• Catherine and JK correctly speculated that the video was itself a piece of 'art' (by which I guess I mean it wasn't fully intended to be taken literally, I guess)
• Madeliena wondered if humour was a protection mechanism, which of course it is - something I well-know about myself and often use deliberately - things getting tense? Maybe everyone laugh! Difficult question? Say something silly but funny
• Several people described the format as engaging, Lucy felt it drew her in, and Aston felt it helped him to listen despite his ADHD by engaging a different mode of listening (which was lovely and interesting)

Reactions to Tomgos and Tathos

• Several people were interested in the relationship between the two and the undercurrent of conflict
• George wondered about how much the 'alter ego' played in the work, which is interesting as a lot of people tend to identify me with Tomgos, but I feel like both, perhaps more Tathos
• Dee wondered what would happen if one of the pair took a holiday - my feeling is it would be disaster - Tomgos alone wouldn't know what he wanted to do (he needs Tathos's passion and ideas), and Tathos alone would have an amazing self-serving time but wouldn't bother to make anything (he needs Tomgos's discipline and critical questioning)
• Lais wondered how many other Toms were not invited to contribute - a very interesting question (in the 'cannon' there is definitely Little Tom and (whisper his name) Big Tom, but with the vague implication that there are more...) I've never involved any other Tom in the creative process - perhaps I should? I

Reactions to the work presented

• A lot of people felt the work was playful on the surface, but had hidden, perhaps sinister depths (yay! ;) )
• Sara described “a strange otherness within the work, almost a longing to find answers to very philosophical questions. I feel intrigued, emotional, melancholic”, which fits with the 'sad clown' persona I've been labelled with before, and which I guess I know is there - many things I do in my life are silly or playful or whimsical, but spiked with darker more wry, almost bitter depths - I adore things that can be taken in different ways, on different levels
• Chelsea wondered about my relationship to the pieces, and whether I am angry towards them or protective, which is interesting as the answer is definitely protective - they are my precious broken things
• Richard felt a sense of something trying to break out
• Eliza wondered how the work had helped me on my own journey - I think it's helped me understand that I am deeply angry without realising it, but on the whole art is the thing I escape to - generally if I'm making lots of art, it's a sign I'm sad, not happy, it's me escaping an everyday life I can't always fully manage

Other observations about the work

• Several people wondered if performance should be part of my work - a question I continue to ask myself and continue to tentatively answer 'no' - performance is problematic in many ways, but also somehow misses the point of art for me (sorry performance artists, I love you!)
• Several people (perhaps inevitably) wondered where all this was heading!
• Chelsea observed the work was delicate and careful, which I was very grateful for her noticing (so much care goes into the work, but I don't know how much is observable in the final product)
• JK wondered if the dialogue should be more evident in the work, or whether it was strictly part of the process for now (I'd say it's really just a trumped up analogy for the process)
• Sara saw a “subconscious surrealism” in the work, which is very flattering and something I've been exploring - magical realism perhaps
• Richard suggested I go big (right now I want to go small, but I'm open to the idea)
• Chelsea felt it's ok not to finish things if the lessons have been learnt - 100% agree, but the question for me then becomes "why finish anything?" and if you do finish some stuff, what, and why?
• Holly observed my use of the body in my work, trapped or encased, fragmented, which is very interesting as I've never really thought about the fact that I've moved from heads to hands - WTF, why haven't I realised?!
• Holly wondered what words I'd use to describe my more recent work (I think the ones above - detached but with dark depths - Tathos hidden by Tomgos)
• Martina was reminded of "poetic synecdoche" which sounds very interesting and I need to dig into that

Overall Conclusions and take-aways

• The work succeeds in creating emotional layers, as hoped, mainly light/humours/playful, with darker undertones of sadness/anger/conflict
• I'm glad I did the video as a piece of performance art, it was fun, and whilst it did distract from the work, as expected, it didn't do so disastrously, and it got a laugh
• At least one person identified the level of effort I put into the work
• I should consider if there's room for more Toms at the table, and if so, who they are, and what they might bring to the work... And if not, why not?
• I'm quite taken with the idea of "strange otherness" and "subconscious surrealism" as I feel it too (a coldness perhaps? Or a unnatural way of thinking? the careful calculated meticulousness of the unhinged??) and perhaps I should lean into it more? It feels like it connects to the null point and my pondering on what art death would make.
• I need to come up with some 'rules' about what I finish and why?
• I need to explore why I use body parts!
• I should try to understand what poetic synecdoche is, and whether it's significant