I have moved to substack and all new content will be posted there, not here:
https://tomgrey638462.substack.com/
As well as being a more popular, modern platform, substack also allow you to subscribe by email. Annoyingly, setting up a custom domain costs money, so I won't be doing that unless I become wildly popular!
Leaving blogger feels weird, like leaving a house you grew up in, but everything comes to an end, sooner or later.
This will be the last post on this blog, after this, I'll be moving to substack:
https://tomgrey638462.substack.com/
As well as being a more popular, modern platform, substack also allow you to subscribe by email. Annoyingly, setting up a custom domain costs money, so I won't be doing that unless I become wildly popular!
Fittingly (and by design!) I want to use this last post to analyse the feedback on my 5-minute video. Overall I was very happy with the video, and very flattered by the feedback, comments, and praise it received.
A number of people alluded to the slight uncanny aspects of the video, and the juxtaposing of conflicting emotions and messages. Someone described it as being "fairytale like" which was an interesting comment as I hadn't seen it that way, but I agree, and I actually really like the idea - maybe it's something I should explore further.
Several people commented on the AI voices, and their effectiveness to promote the uncanny feeling through the tension between the 'inhuman' and the human emotions, and between the perceived age of the female voice, and the complex emotions she describes. Someone wondered who the female voice represented - it's an interesting question as I felt very sure she needed to be female, but I'm not sure why.
A few people complemented the narrative, which was lovely, and someone said they liked the use of technology in a subtle and balanced way to tell the story. Someone said it was "complex but considered" which I really liked. Dee said they thought it was actually a very positive message about enjoying and embracing life, which I was very pleased by.
as a ...maker I need ...to know if you have considered using what you have been able to construct using technology to the build something in a real world setting based on the digital environment in the work.
as a friend I need to say how interesting your journey has been. The video reminds me of where you started from and that you have stayed true to yourself whilst wandering in the woods!
as a fellow artist I need you to show this film at the grad show please. It is so poweful.
as a ... Curator I need ... I need to see more of this work. I thought it was Brilliant as a stand alone piece too
as a ...curator I need ..you to show this film maybe to other people who grieve or who have grieved. It is a realists film understanding the process of death without sentimentality
as a friend There is a quiet strength in how you approach such a complex subject. Rather than turning away from the unknown, your work leans in, asking meaningful questions and holding space for both pain and beauty.
as a lover of the countryside and children's voices - I love the marriage of these voices, the gorse, the use of yellow against grey - the wobbly camera along the footpaths, is unnerving, with the voiceover - in fact I find all your video unnerving (in the most positive way) - unsettling, dark - but light - the different voices really brought it all together - it's clever - your use of digital is very clever. I need ...nothing more from you.
as a ...fellow artist this was an absolute finale. I loved everything about this work and hope you got more peace from making it. I need ... more films
as an artist I appreciate the way you use technology in your work as part of the concept and in relation to the content, it's integrated not just being used for the sake of it
as a ... gallerist I need ... it is both your wide ranging practice as a maker of things, of objects, of material stuff AND the digital, the technical innovation -- this is excitign and I want to see more
as a ... art viewer I need ... I wonder what you would title this film if it was seen in a gallery - the title could give direction, a hint to the audience
as a ... curator I need ... to see this and more films in a gallery setting, the way it combines elements of you r art practice into a poetic structure is amazing
as a viewer/fan of your work I need to see your films (two or three different films) projected on a large scale onto multiple walls in a 'white cube' room where the viewer can curate their own experience while being immersed in your work.
as a ...? I need ... to know where people go to discuss grief - between themselves not monologue
as a ...friend I need ...you to consider creative writing to move alongside your other creative practice you obviously have a talent for it
as a ... grieving human I need ... to sit with this film for a long time - thank you
as a filmmaker I need to see more video work from you! Your talent in storytelling is truly remarkable (not just from this video, I've known that a long time :P). Fresh, original, sensitive, humorous, deep and very clever. SHOW IT AT THE GRAD SHOW!!!
as a fellow artist I need to say how pleased I am that you have found your way from tech into art and then combining the two! The art world is 'richer' with your contribution. Thank you!
Which made me think that a lot of the stuff I made last year was metamodern in it's sensibility... Flippant but with dark undertones, ironic irreverent language to describe earnestly felt emotions...
The "metamodern methods" were interesting:
They are more observations than approaches - i.e. again, they are applied retrospectively, but a few of them could describe my work, especially "ironesty".
Am I excited to have finally found my true home? Nah. I think it's interesting that I stumbled into making work that fits metamodern, probably because I was aping contemporary work that I admired, but I don't think it's something to 'aim for'. I think my work is already moving away from some of these characterisations, and that's ok.
I feel an attachment to Blogger, and it's been a really great option for running this blog with none of the grief experienced by my classmates that chose Wordpress... But... People not being able to subscribe without an feed reader feels a bit 1990s... And actually the cool kids are on Substack now. I'm thinking more and more about moving to longer form content, like the stuff I used to publish on my LinkedIn. If I get one of the things I've applied for, writing might be even more front-and-centre.... Should I jump to Substack... Or something else? Or just stay here...
I think Open Casket and the animation are as 'done' as I can get them now. I think I'll called the sculpture "Gone" and the animation "All these moments" - a reference to the line from Bladerunner "All these moments will be lost in time. Like tears in rain". Tomorrow I bring the animation to CSM. On Thursday my sculpture is delivered. I'm really looking forward to helping with the show install.
As is often the way after finishing a "big piece", I feel weirdly lost. I guess it's like that when you finishing any sort of big project - you are used to all that focus and pressure, and suddenly it's removed. I used to call the weird listless lost feeling, "decompression sickness".
I have a few ideas for things I want to do physically, but they will have to wait for my sculpture to be removed, as it currently takes up all the space in the dining room that I use for making. Once that's gone, I have a bunch of projects I started and did't finish that I want to return to, and once the sculpture returns, I have the fun of deciding what I am going to do with it - currently either turning it into some sort of wall mounted cast, or perhaps using it as a mould to cast a concrete 'positive' of my body that I could install in the garden somewhere. My poor house...
I am more stuck on the digital side - I've always kept the two things quite separate. I'm still setting up my new laptop as I had quite a lot of 'fiddly' software that takes a while to re-install e.g. OpenVDB is not just a case of 'clicking install' - you have to download a bunch of dependancies, and the compile it from source - which is gloriously fast on my new laptop compared to my old one! Once I've done that, I might make a Volume based rendering of my Open Casket water. There's a bunch of other things I want to do with Volumes as I find the look of how they are rendered quite interesting...
But probably the thing I should REALLY do is to get the 3d printer going! I think that's what I'm really excited about - there are a couple of projects I REALLY want to do - one is scanning a river bank and making a model from it, the other is making plaster underground buildings - both will make more sense when I do them!
And I guess I will keep this blog alive, at least for now. I don't know if it helps me with no obvious readership, but it feels sad to just stop....
I've decided to make the ripple animation into a separate piece. I've cleaned up the shape of the body, and added logic to increase the amount of rain slowly, hold it, slowly decrease it, then hold it at zero so the water settles:
I've did a couple of simple test projections, and I really like it:
Next step is to do a few runs and stitch them together so you get a bit of variety in what you see if you stick around for a couple of cycles. I also need to think of 'real' names for this and for the original Open Casket... For the original I was think probably just "Gone", and for this, I'm tempted to reference a beautiful and famous quote from the movie Bladerunner - "All those moments will be lost in time, like tears in rain"
"I want to speak of fear. I want to exploit the word apprehensions for its associations with arresting, grasping, understanding and fearing"
I can't remember where I came across Hamad Butt - I want to say Insta, but I have a vague idea someone sent me a link. I really like his work - I love the mixture of science and art, and I love the way he plays with emotions, in a way that I like to - beauty, intrigue, but also apprehension, perhaps even fear. Assuming the vessels really are filled with Chlorine (and I feel sure they are), the risk is quite real.
The glass was apparently blown by technicians from Imperial College. I remember when I first joined Imperial, to study Chemistry, in the late 90s, someone mentioned that the glass technicians had collaborated with an artist. They were rightly proud. The timing fits. Funny how things come in circles.
